On September 16th, 2011, I lost my job at Green Oaks Country Club where I had been for three years.\ So when my brother first suggested I apply to be and Order Processing Specialist where he works, I was skeptical. I had been in the food and beverage industry full-time since 2001 and honestly I was scared to make a change. I was two months shy of my 35th birthday when I applied for the job. And in almost perfect irony, I started training one day shy of exactly two months to the day of losing my country club job. (So on a side note, finding a good, well paying job right now is possible with some motivation and effort.)
Training wasn't anything like what I expected. It was long - three months to be exact - and difficult. Even the training I had at the country club, working in fine dining for the first time, was less difficult than what I had to learn going into this job. And depending on how you look at it, the severity of mistakes are much different. At the country club a mistake could mean someone gets food poisoning. At my new job, a mistake could mean we have to credit the customer $5000. And on top of this, I was chosen for what is considered the most difficult pod on the floor: Embroidery Order Processing Specialist. (I will post more on that in another blog.)
The title "Order Processing Specialist" is misleading. Yes some data entry is involved but that is about 20% of what I now spend my day doing. Some of my other responsibilities include evaluating artwork, talking to distributors, coordinating with the production department, art department and the order editing team as well as responding to the constant flow of email I receive daily.
So I went from standing all day in a 90+ degree kitchen chopping veggies, cleaning chicken breasts, making display mirrors and orders for members to sitting in a cubicle in front of a computer with a mouse as my main tool instead of a knife. The pay's significantly better too, but that will also be discussed in another blog. It's been an interesting road and there will be many more stories to come. So stay tuned.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Thoughts From and iPod
How can Andrew W. K.'s songs be both so blatantly stupid but also so very catchy?
Ugly Kid Joe is a band who deserved a much higher level of success than they had. Most of us know their mega-hit "Everything About You" and their cover of "Cats in the Cradle". But songs like "Milkman's Son" and Goddamn Devil" showed a quirky sense of humor and the influence Ozzy Osbourne had on their music.
Shakira has two times as many songs as Slaughter on my iPod.
I still don't have any Foreigner on the iPod.
Halestorm is a fantastic band. Lzzy Hale can channel both Joan Jett and Lita Ford with her vocals.
Keep the music loud, folks!
Ugly Kid Joe is a band who deserved a much higher level of success than they had. Most of us know their mega-hit "Everything About You" and their cover of "Cats in the Cradle". But songs like "Milkman's Son" and Goddamn Devil" showed a quirky sense of humor and the influence Ozzy Osbourne had on their music.
Shakira has two times as many songs as Slaughter on my iPod.
I still don't have any Foreigner on the iPod.
Halestorm is a fantastic band. Lzzy Hale can channel both Joan Jett and Lita Ford with her vocals.
Keep the music loud, folks!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
PICKING THE GRAMMYS
BEST NEW ARTIST:
This category include The Band Perry, Bon Iver, Nicki Minaj, Skrillex and J. Cole. Last year this award went to Esperanza-something-rather. Again I see a less popular artist winning this award. I'm going with Bon Iver.
BEST HARD ROCK/METAL SONG:
The two categories were combined into one by the Grammy doofuses, which is why the Foo Fighters appear with Megadeth and Mastodon, along with Dream Theater and Sum 41. The sexy pick here would be the Foo Fighters. But I have to go with thrash-metal gods Megadeth.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Adele will walk away with this award easily. I'm don't want to take anything away from Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Foo Fighters or Rihanna, but this will be the one of many for Adele tonight.
RECORD OF THE YEAR
It's cute to see Katy Perry nominated here with much more talented artists. Bruno Mars has the only chance of upsetting Adele but it's not going to happen. "Rolling in the Deep" wins the award. Sorry Mumford & Son and Bon Iver also.
BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE
This is where the voters may let someone other than Adele win. I think Bruno Mars take this award over Adele, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and P!nk.
SOME QUICK PICKS IN OTHER CATEGORIES
Country solo performance: Jason Aldean
Comedy Performance: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Best Rap Collaboration: Dr. Dre, Eminem and Skylar Grey
Best Rap Performance: As long as Wiz Khalifa loses, I don't care who wins.
Best Alternative Album: Radiohead
This category include The Band Perry, Bon Iver, Nicki Minaj, Skrillex and J. Cole. Last year this award went to Esperanza-something-rather. Again I see a less popular artist winning this award. I'm going with Bon Iver.
BEST HARD ROCK/METAL SONG:
The two categories were combined into one by the Grammy doofuses, which is why the Foo Fighters appear with Megadeth and Mastodon, along with Dream Theater and Sum 41. The sexy pick here would be the Foo Fighters. But I have to go with thrash-metal gods Megadeth.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Adele will walk away with this award easily. I'm don't want to take anything away from Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Foo Fighters or Rihanna, but this will be the one of many for Adele tonight.
RECORD OF THE YEAR
It's cute to see Katy Perry nominated here with much more talented artists. Bruno Mars has the only chance of upsetting Adele but it's not going to happen. "Rolling in the Deep" wins the award. Sorry Mumford & Son and Bon Iver also.
BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE
This is where the voters may let someone other than Adele win. I think Bruno Mars take this award over Adele, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and P!nk.
SOME QUICK PICKS IN OTHER CATEGORIES
Country solo performance: Jason Aldean
Comedy Performance: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Best Rap Collaboration: Dr. Dre, Eminem and Skylar Grey
Best Rap Performance: As long as Wiz Khalifa loses, I don't care who wins.
Best Alternative Album: Radiohead
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Screw Your Illusion: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Still Getting it Wrong
Guns N' Roses was recently elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. My reaction to this is "why"? Don't get me wrong, GnR was a great band for about five years. They are not in any way R&RHOF worthy however. Especially when better bands, with bigger contributions to music and more talent are left waiting to get in.
Guns N' Roses had two great albums: Appetite for Destruction and Lies. After that they had two good albums: Use You Illusion 1 & 2. They also had two awful albums: The Spaghetti Incident? and Chinese Democracy. They also had a live album and a greatest hits album in there as well but neither really counts because those are just fan fodder to keep people happy until the new studio album is ready. Every artist does it.
Before I continue my case against GnR, let me remind you all of some artists (in rock and other genres) who are not yet in the R&RHOF. (Keep in mind eligibility begins 25 years after the release of the first album.) The list includes Deep Purple, Ted Nugent, Rush, Queensryche, Bon Jovi, Pantera, Billy Idol, Megadeth, Motley Crue, The Cure, Dio, Judas Priest, Janet Jackson, Ice-T, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Depeche Mode, Bad Religion, Ozzy Osbourne (as a solo artist), Dead Kennedys, Poison, The Misfits, Motorhead, KISS, Peter Gabriel, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Slayer and George Clinton. That is a list of artists who are not only more talented than Guns N Roses, but have all contributed more to the growth of music around the world.
Guns N' Roses made a loud, obnoxious and in-your-face debut with Appetite. The lead single "Welcome to the Jungle", with its allusions to rape and drug use, was much bolder than anything Poison or Def Leppard had out at the time. That was a good thing, but not enough to push them to the status of R&RHOF members. The controversy surrounding Lies with the tracks "Used to Love Her" and "One in a Million" was unwarranted but nevertheless entertaining. Again, that was a nice star on their bulletin board of life, but that's about it.
The dual release of Use You Illusion 1 & 2 was really nothing more than arrogance on the band's part. It's great they had so many songs to choose from and wanted fans to get them all. But why release both albums simultaneously? In the long run, that decision may have been the bands downfall as that lineup did not release another album together. It was too much at one time when one album of the best songs from both Illusions would have done the trick.
On a side note, the video for the opus "November Rain" from Use Your Illusion 1, was the first $1 million video ever.
Let's all just pretend the Guns N' Roses collection of covers, The Spaghetti Incident? never happened. It's one of the worst albums ever recorded.
In 1999, Guns N Roses had an industrial metal style song on the End of Days soundtrack which Axl claimed was the direction the band was going. That turned out to not be the case as Democracy was loaded with a mellow boring style of music, at least by GnR standards.
That brings us to Chinese Democracy. The Guns N' Roses album which took nearly a decade to write, record and release. The fact of the matter is it was all Axl Rose's fault. The frequent hiring and firing of musicians or musicians outright quitting because Axl is a douchebag really started to get ridiculous after the first few years. Re-recording, remixing and other production costs ballooned the total cost of making the album to $13 million.
The album was originally to be released in 2000 but The album was finally released in 2008 exclusively at Best Buy. It was a critical and commercial flop despite being certified platinum in 2009.
Guns N' Roses was a fun band when they debuted in the late 1980s. The were like Motley Crue ampped up a few more levels. However, the lack of longevity and the frequent lineup changes and the childish behavior of Axl Rose definitely detracts from any worthiness for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Their election is undeserved and frankly, mind-boggling. I could make a strong case for every artist I mentioned a few paragraphs above for inclusion before GnR. I hope that many of those artists are one day enshrined in the R&RHOF because all are deserving the just need a little patience.
Guns N' Roses had two great albums: Appetite for Destruction and Lies. After that they had two good albums: Use You Illusion 1 & 2. They also had two awful albums: The Spaghetti Incident? and Chinese Democracy. They also had a live album and a greatest hits album in there as well but neither really counts because those are just fan fodder to keep people happy until the new studio album is ready. Every artist does it.
Before I continue my case against GnR, let me remind you all of some artists (in rock and other genres) who are not yet in the R&RHOF. (Keep in mind eligibility begins 25 years after the release of the first album.) The list includes Deep Purple, Ted Nugent, Rush, Queensryche, Bon Jovi, Pantera, Billy Idol, Megadeth, Motley Crue, The Cure, Dio, Judas Priest, Janet Jackson, Ice-T, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Depeche Mode, Bad Religion, Ozzy Osbourne (as a solo artist), Dead Kennedys, Poison, The Misfits, Motorhead, KISS, Peter Gabriel, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Slayer and George Clinton. That is a list of artists who are not only more talented than Guns N Roses, but have all contributed more to the growth of music around the world.
Guns N' Roses made a loud, obnoxious and in-your-face debut with Appetite. The lead single "Welcome to the Jungle", with its allusions to rape and drug use, was much bolder than anything Poison or Def Leppard had out at the time. That was a good thing, but not enough to push them to the status of R&RHOF members. The controversy surrounding Lies with the tracks "Used to Love Her" and "One in a Million" was unwarranted but nevertheless entertaining. Again, that was a nice star on their bulletin board of life, but that's about it.
The dual release of Use You Illusion 1 & 2 was really nothing more than arrogance on the band's part. It's great they had so many songs to choose from and wanted fans to get them all. But why release both albums simultaneously? In the long run, that decision may have been the bands downfall as that lineup did not release another album together. It was too much at one time when one album of the best songs from both Illusions would have done the trick.
On a side note, the video for the opus "November Rain" from Use Your Illusion 1, was the first $1 million video ever.
Let's all just pretend the Guns N' Roses collection of covers, The Spaghetti Incident? never happened. It's one of the worst albums ever recorded.
In 1999, Guns N Roses had an industrial metal style song on the End of Days soundtrack which Axl claimed was the direction the band was going. That turned out to not be the case as Democracy was loaded with a mellow boring style of music, at least by GnR standards.
That brings us to Chinese Democracy. The Guns N' Roses album which took nearly a decade to write, record and release. The fact of the matter is it was all Axl Rose's fault. The frequent hiring and firing of musicians or musicians outright quitting because Axl is a douchebag really started to get ridiculous after the first few years. Re-recording, remixing and other production costs ballooned the total cost of making the album to $13 million.
The album was originally to be released in 2000 but The album was finally released in 2008 exclusively at Best Buy. It was a critical and commercial flop despite being certified platinum in 2009.
Guns N' Roses was a fun band when they debuted in the late 1980s. The were like Motley Crue ampped up a few more levels. However, the lack of longevity and the frequent lineup changes and the childish behavior of Axl Rose definitely detracts from any worthiness for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Their election is undeserved and frankly, mind-boggling. I could make a strong case for every artist I mentioned a few paragraphs above for inclusion before GnR. I hope that many of those artists are one day enshrined in the R&RHOF because all are deserving the just need a little patience.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Sweet Home Indiana...Why I Will Never...EVER, Join A Union Again
I was in a union for three years. This was from 2001-2004 during my time working at an assisted care facility in Pittsburgh. My union was the SEIU 1199P. And it sucked. Hard. It had nothing to do with the job. I liked my co-workers and being in the kitchen. There were bigger issues which irked me.
The biggest was the same pay raises across the board every six months for all cooks. That's bullshit, plain and simple. Why should I receive the same raise as the person who shows up late once a week with a hangover? Is it fair that the competent cooks get the same raise as the one who can't thicken soup, undercooks chicken and burns meatloaf? No, it's not.
Let me make this as clear as possible: IF I AM BETTER AT MY JOB THAN YOU ARE, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER BELIEVE I WILL BE PAID MORE MONEY!
The second issue was the union did everything they could to make sure the most unreliable and incompetent employees didn't lose their jobs. Let me tell you all something about the kitchen: one incompetent cook screws the entire staff. It's a fact of life that some people aren't cut out for certain jobs. It's another fact of life that firing these people is the best thing to do for everyone, including the one being fired. It doesn't do any good to allow people to continue believing they have skills which aren't there.
The union also took it's good ol' time responding to grievances. I filed one against a supervisor over the way I was spoken to and six months later a union representative finally came to the workplace to ask about it. By then I had forgotten what was said to me. Maybe not all unions act so slowly but mine did and that also was bullshit.
I think it should be required by law for unions to report to members down to the penny for what their dues are being used. Maybe some places are now doing that, but I never knew where my dues were going. I have a suspicion a large percentage of the dues collected were funding the campaigns of politicians with a (D) next to their name. And as many of you know, those politicians have as much chance of getting my vote as Ben Roethlisberger does of speaking at a NOW rally.
And no-one should be forced into union membership. It should be voluntary. This is America, after all.
I haven't worked a union job since then and I never again will. Pay raises should be determined by job performance, punctuality, reliability, cooperation and dedication. Pay raises should not be determined by some stupid contract. I like the idea of being able to receive a merit raise. I never heard those words while in a union. I don't need union thugs to speak for me. My job performance will do just fine on its own.
The biggest was the same pay raises across the board every six months for all cooks. That's bullshit, plain and simple. Why should I receive the same raise as the person who shows up late once a week with a hangover? Is it fair that the competent cooks get the same raise as the one who can't thicken soup, undercooks chicken and burns meatloaf? No, it's not.
Let me make this as clear as possible: IF I AM BETTER AT MY JOB THAN YOU ARE, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER BELIEVE I WILL BE PAID MORE MONEY!
The second issue was the union did everything they could to make sure the most unreliable and incompetent employees didn't lose their jobs. Let me tell you all something about the kitchen: one incompetent cook screws the entire staff. It's a fact of life that some people aren't cut out for certain jobs. It's another fact of life that firing these people is the best thing to do for everyone, including the one being fired. It doesn't do any good to allow people to continue believing they have skills which aren't there.
The union also took it's good ol' time responding to grievances. I filed one against a supervisor over the way I was spoken to and six months later a union representative finally came to the workplace to ask about it. By then I had forgotten what was said to me. Maybe not all unions act so slowly but mine did and that also was bullshit.
I think it should be required by law for unions to report to members down to the penny for what their dues are being used. Maybe some places are now doing that, but I never knew where my dues were going. I have a suspicion a large percentage of the dues collected were funding the campaigns of politicians with a (D) next to their name. And as many of you know, those politicians have as much chance of getting my vote as Ben Roethlisberger does of speaking at a NOW rally.
And no-one should be forced into union membership. It should be voluntary. This is America, after all.
I haven't worked a union job since then and I never again will. Pay raises should be determined by job performance, punctuality, reliability, cooperation and dedication. Pay raises should not be determined by some stupid contract. I like the idea of being able to receive a merit raise. I never heard those words while in a union. I don't need union thugs to speak for me. My job performance will do just fine on its own.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Huff-N-Puffs, Tom Cruise, Football and More
America would be better off without the Huffington Post. I mean if a website makes FOX News appear straight forward and unbiased, you know how extreme that website must be. It's time we get rid of the libeling, hate-mongering, ignorant Huff-N-Puffs.
OK, the first three Mission: Impossible movies weren't very good. So why has the fourth film made nearly $200 million while a well-reviewed film such as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo struggles to hit $100 million. Listen America, Tom Cruise sucks. There is no debating that fact. And the longer you all keep going to see his crappy movies, the longer we have to put up with him. So please stop. Thank you.
Peyton Manning is the real MVP of the NFL. The Colts went 2-14 without him in 2011 after being 10-6 in 2010. He threw 33 touchdown passes in 2010. All three Colts quarterbacks combined to throw 14 touchdown passes in 2011. Peyton threw for 4700 yards in 2010. The three men who played quarterback for Indianapolis in 2011 combined for a total of 3223 yards passing. Yes, Peyton is the MVP.
Prediction the first: Baltimore 27 New England 24
Prediction the second: New York 24 San Francisco 23
Chris Matthews is still a hack and a moron.
The Occupy doofuses needed to go away. Seriously. It's one thing to gather like mature adults and protest. But blocking building entrances and intersections (San Francisco) or refusing to leave privately owned property (Pittsburgh) or starting riots (Oakland) is not the way to get your message (as misguided, ignorant and envy-driven as it may be) across.
Starting February 1, I will be occupying a cubicle every day as I finish the final two weeks of my 12 -week training period at my new job. Hopefully I don't turn into Dilbert.
I have started my person boycott of the criminal enterprise known as the LCB and their state controlled monopoly of retail liquor sales. I will buy beer instead. I like competition for prices.
Have I mentioned Tom Cruise sucks?
Thank you all for reading. Catch you again soon.
OK, the first three Mission: Impossible movies weren't very good. So why has the fourth film made nearly $200 million while a well-reviewed film such as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo struggles to hit $100 million. Listen America, Tom Cruise sucks. There is no debating that fact. And the longer you all keep going to see his crappy movies, the longer we have to put up with him. So please stop. Thank you.
Peyton Manning is the real MVP of the NFL. The Colts went 2-14 without him in 2011 after being 10-6 in 2010. He threw 33 touchdown passes in 2010. All three Colts quarterbacks combined to throw 14 touchdown passes in 2011. Peyton threw for 4700 yards in 2010. The three men who played quarterback for Indianapolis in 2011 combined for a total of 3223 yards passing. Yes, Peyton is the MVP.
Prediction the first: Baltimore 27 New England 24
Prediction the second: New York 24 San Francisco 23
Chris Matthews is still a hack and a moron.
The Occupy doofuses needed to go away. Seriously. It's one thing to gather like mature adults and protest. But blocking building entrances and intersections (San Francisco) or refusing to leave privately owned property (Pittsburgh) or starting riots (Oakland) is not the way to get your message (as misguided, ignorant and envy-driven as it may be) across.
Starting February 1, I will be occupying a cubicle every day as I finish the final two weeks of my 12 -week training period at my new job. Hopefully I don't turn into Dilbert.
I have started my person boycott of the criminal enterprise known as the LCB and their state controlled monopoly of retail liquor sales. I will buy beer instead. I like competition for prices.
Have I mentioned Tom Cruise sucks?
Thank you all for reading. Catch you again soon.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The Album Which Changed My Life
I was in the 4th grade when I bought my first rock album. The moment which influenced me to do it was during a car ride to one of my little league baseball games. My brother Bob was providing me the transportation on this occasion and he was playing Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet. It was on this trip I first heard “You Give Love a Bad Name” and “Living On a Prayer”. Just days later a childhood friend heard me talking about how much I liked those songs and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. The next day I gave him $1.01 for his cassette tape of Slippery When Wet.
This album started a trend for me. I began listening to more of the glam bands. I started to enjoy the music of Poison, Scorpions and Cinderella. Bon Jovi and the Scorpions quickly became my two favorite bands on the planet. (My first concert was the Scorpions, but that is a story for another time.) I had the posters on my wall courtesy of the late, legendary Metal Edge magazine. I had a nice collection of cassettes accumulating on my bookshelf. Included in these were Look What the Cat Dragged In, Lovedrive and To Hell With the Devil. Also included here was New Jersey, Bon Jovi’s follow-up to Slippery When Wet, a birthday gift from the same friend who sold me his cassette tape a couple years earlier. And this collection also included one I had to keep hidden due to its explicit content: Appetite for Destruction, an album which has remained one of my all-time favorites to this very day.
My love of rock music continued into junior high school but was taken to a new level with the help of a newly found friend, Loren. I had already begun listening to artist such as Queensryche and Ozzy Osbourne but she introduced me to the music of Motley Crue and Faith No More, two bands which turned me towards heavier music, but more on that later. By this time, compact discs had come around so for us to copy music onto cassettes for each other was not a difficult process. I received Dr. Feelgood and The Real Thing and in return provided Crazy World and Stick It To Ya for her. More of this happened over the next couple years, with Cherry Pie, Face the Heat, Flesh & Blood, Adrenalize and Angel Dust all going one direction or another.
Now the same friend who had sold me Slippery When Wet made me a similar deal for Metallica’s …And Justice For All, by far the heaviest album in my collection. Needless to say, the trend continued with the addition of albums such as the “Black Album” and Facelift, which is far more metal than grunge. Then along came albums from White Zombie, Type O Negative and Pantera. My musical path was secure now. It was rock or nothing.
Today not much has changed. I still love the bands I grew up listening to like Bon Jovi, Motley Crue and Poison. I have come to love other bands who emerged over the years as well. I everything from P.O.D. to Lordi to Godsmack to Rammstein in my collection now. It’s amazing to me all this started with a short car ride to a little league game. But you know what? I’m glad as hell it did. And I’ll be the one in the nursing home someday rocking out to “Enter Sandman”, “Du Hast” or “”Shelter Me”.
This album started a trend for me. I began listening to more of the glam bands. I started to enjoy the music of Poison, Scorpions and Cinderella. Bon Jovi and the Scorpions quickly became my two favorite bands on the planet. (My first concert was the Scorpions, but that is a story for another time.) I had the posters on my wall courtesy of the late, legendary Metal Edge magazine. I had a nice collection of cassettes accumulating on my bookshelf. Included in these were Look What the Cat Dragged In, Lovedrive and To Hell With the Devil. Also included here was New Jersey, Bon Jovi’s follow-up to Slippery When Wet, a birthday gift from the same friend who sold me his cassette tape a couple years earlier. And this collection also included one I had to keep hidden due to its explicit content: Appetite for Destruction, an album which has remained one of my all-time favorites to this very day.
My love of rock music continued into junior high school but was taken to a new level with the help of a newly found friend, Loren. I had already begun listening to artist such as Queensryche and Ozzy Osbourne but she introduced me to the music of Motley Crue and Faith No More, two bands which turned me towards heavier music, but more on that later. By this time, compact discs had come around so for us to copy music onto cassettes for each other was not a difficult process. I received Dr. Feelgood and The Real Thing and in return provided Crazy World and Stick It To Ya for her. More of this happened over the next couple years, with Cherry Pie, Face the Heat, Flesh & Blood, Adrenalize and Angel Dust all going one direction or another.
Now the same friend who had sold me Slippery When Wet made me a similar deal for Metallica’s …And Justice For All, by far the heaviest album in my collection. Needless to say, the trend continued with the addition of albums such as the “Black Album” and Facelift, which is far more metal than grunge. Then along came albums from White Zombie, Type O Negative and Pantera. My musical path was secure now. It was rock or nothing.
Today not much has changed. I still love the bands I grew up listening to like Bon Jovi, Motley Crue and Poison. I have come to love other bands who emerged over the years as well. I everything from P.O.D. to Lordi to Godsmack to Rammstein in my collection now. It’s amazing to me all this started with a short car ride to a little league game. But you know what? I’m glad as hell it did. And I’ll be the one in the nursing home someday rocking out to “Enter Sandman”, “Du Hast” or “”Shelter Me”.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
It's Been Awhile & I Am Sorry
I know it's been a very long time since I posted a blog entry. I apologize for that. It's not that I haven't wanted to write. It's I didn't know what to write about. I'm disgusted with politics so it's unlikely I will write anything at length about that subject. I might make a comment or two here and there about it but that's it. I will write occasionally about my journey into the world of working in an office for the first time. I will write about some of my favorite albums and movies. I will write about sports (But nothing about Sandusky until the trial is over. My current thoughts can be wrapped up in one sentence.) I will write about nothing and everything. I do promise I will never ever be away this long again. So pay attention. The most entertaining blog on the web is about to blow up!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Making Excess Chic
Let me get this straight. All across America, Occupy groups are protesting the large profits taken in by those evil corporations and banks. But when a family like the Kardashians gets rich without any marketable skills or talents (not including the talents on display in Kim’s home video with Ray J, of course) Americans can‘t get enough. The K-dash Klan is adored and idolized. Yeah, makes sense to me because that’s the new American way.
In 2010 the Kardashian family had an estimated income of $65 million. And I defy any one of you to tell me something significant or worthwhile any of them did. Kim threw herself a 30th birthday party. Kourtney and Khloe did nothing; like they usually do. We’ve come to expect Kim to be the face of the sisters. She’s had high-profile romances with football players Reggie Bush and Miles Austin as well as a brief marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries (and I’ll get back to that later). She’s posed in Playboy. Khloe is married to Lamar Odom. You all just said, “who?!”, didn’t you?
Unlike people who have gone to college and worked their way through the corporate rat race the Kardashian family has never lived on Ramen or Hamburger Helper. They have never had to juggle bills or sell things on eBay to have money for Christmas presents. But their greed is not protested. And the force behind it is Kris Jenner, the mother.
Kris Jenner manages the girls’ enterprises. Do you want Kim to appear at a grand opening or party? Be ready to drop $100,000; if you are in the United States. Having Kim appear at a foreign venue could cost you a cool one million American dollars. And if that weren’t enough, Kris found a way to cash in on the Twitter craze. If you want Kim to endorse your product or service via Twitter, write a check for $25,000. Kris Jenner personifies greed. She won't even consider something unless it comes with a five-figure payment.
Now back to the biggest farce America has seen since Oliver Stone’s W.. Most people have to spend money on their wedding. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries earned $15 million (and how much of that do you think KH actually saw?). After the big production and the showboating for the cameras, the marriage lasted 72 days. They should have to return every single gift they received.
The Kardashian family got rich from promoting excess. Excess is what rich republicans are accused of every day and is something the Occupy crowd claims to be rallying against. Maybe it’s time for a new approach.
I hereby call on all Americans to begin a new Occupy movement: Occupy Kardashian. It’s time we picket and camp out across the street from the homes of the Kardashian sisters and their parents. We need to gather outside the Dash stores and yell at people going in and out. Let’s show the Kardashians how much we resent their lives of excess while the rest of us actually have to use real skills and talent to earn a living.
I mean, if you can’t get rich for being a no-talent attention whore in America, what do we have left?
In 2010 the Kardashian family had an estimated income of $65 million. And I defy any one of you to tell me something significant or worthwhile any of them did. Kim threw herself a 30th birthday party. Kourtney and Khloe did nothing; like they usually do. We’ve come to expect Kim to be the face of the sisters. She’s had high-profile romances with football players Reggie Bush and Miles Austin as well as a brief marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries (and I’ll get back to that later). She’s posed in Playboy. Khloe is married to Lamar Odom. You all just said, “who?!”, didn’t you?
Unlike people who have gone to college and worked their way through the corporate rat race the Kardashian family has never lived on Ramen or Hamburger Helper. They have never had to juggle bills or sell things on eBay to have money for Christmas presents. But their greed is not protested. And the force behind it is Kris Jenner, the mother.
Kris Jenner manages the girls’ enterprises. Do you want Kim to appear at a grand opening or party? Be ready to drop $100,000; if you are in the United States. Having Kim appear at a foreign venue could cost you a cool one million American dollars. And if that weren’t enough, Kris found a way to cash in on the Twitter craze. If you want Kim to endorse your product or service via Twitter, write a check for $25,000. Kris Jenner personifies greed. She won't even consider something unless it comes with a five-figure payment.
Now back to the biggest farce America has seen since Oliver Stone’s W.. Most people have to spend money on their wedding. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries earned $15 million (and how much of that do you think KH actually saw?). After the big production and the showboating for the cameras, the marriage lasted 72 days. They should have to return every single gift they received.
The Kardashian family got rich from promoting excess. Excess is what rich republicans are accused of every day and is something the Occupy crowd claims to be rallying against. Maybe it’s time for a new approach.
I hereby call on all Americans to begin a new Occupy movement: Occupy Kardashian. It’s time we picket and camp out across the street from the homes of the Kardashian sisters and their parents. We need to gather outside the Dash stores and yell at people going in and out. Let’s show the Kardashians how much we resent their lives of excess while the rest of us actually have to use real skills and talent to earn a living.
I mean, if you can’t get rich for being a no-talent attention whore in America, what do we have left?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Some movies to make you sleep with the lights on!
Halloween is almost here. It’s the time of year for scary movies. I’d like to share with you a few of my favorite horror movies. So cuddle up in a blanket and enjoy the thrills and chills
Gremlins -- I think most people forget this is actually a horror film. When a cuddly pet with too many special rules and needs accidentally spawns a horde of mischievous creatures, an entire town falls victim to their mayhem. Their behavior was gruesome enough that this movie helped lead to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Engineered by producers extraordinaire, Steven Spielberg and Peter Marshall, Gremlins is often overlooked as one of the creepiest horror movies of all time.
Halloween -- John Carpenter’s masterpiece gave birth to a new sub-genre of horror movie: the slasher film. Slasher films generally feature a seemingly unstoppable killer stalking teenagers or college students during periods of bad behavior (underage drinking, pre-marital sex, drug use, etc). The darkly shot movie combined with the most recognizable horror score of all time makes Halloween one of the must see movies every October 31st.
In the Mouth of Madness -- Another film from the legendary John Carpenter, this may be his most under-appreciated film, but it is definitely one of his creepiest. Imagine if you will reading a horror novel that literally drove you mad as you read. This movie has a Twilight Zone feel to it while delivering the chills and jumps expected from Carpenter.
Scream -- While this movie is part horror and part satire it is one of horror master Wes Craven’s greatest achievements. The slasher element exists as a masked killer stalks high-school kids, but the killer here is different from all other slasher villains. The satire enters as the movie breaks and lampoons the “rules” that supposedly exist in slasher films. Craven made perfect casting choices with Scream and as always, his eye behind the camera is dead-on. So if you want some laughs and chills, Scream is your movie.
House of 1000 Corpses -- And now for something completely different… Heavy metal singer Rob Zombie wrote and directed this campy homage to 1970s horror centered on a group of teens in search of stories about an infamous serial killer named Dr. Satan. They become stranded and fall prey to a murderous backwoods Texas family. With a cast featuring cult movie legends Bill Moseley and Sid Haig, House of 1000 Corpses is gruesome, creepy and most of all, fun.
Jeepers Creepers -- I’m not sure what is scarier, the Creeper or this fact this movie made Justin Long a star. I’d like to think a demon who needs to eat body parts to regenerate his own would win on that one, but let’s call it a tie. Jeepers Creepers begins delivering right from the start with a scene of menacing road rage and the suspense and thrills continue until the shocking end. (SPOILER ALERT: The bad guy wins!)
Have a great Halloween weekend everyone. And make sure to enjoy some scary movies.
Gremlins -- I think most people forget this is actually a horror film. When a cuddly pet with too many special rules and needs accidentally spawns a horde of mischievous creatures, an entire town falls victim to their mayhem. Their behavior was gruesome enough that this movie helped lead to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Engineered by producers extraordinaire, Steven Spielberg and Peter Marshall, Gremlins is often overlooked as one of the creepiest horror movies of all time.
Halloween -- John Carpenter’s masterpiece gave birth to a new sub-genre of horror movie: the slasher film. Slasher films generally feature a seemingly unstoppable killer stalking teenagers or college students during periods of bad behavior (underage drinking, pre-marital sex, drug use, etc). The darkly shot movie combined with the most recognizable horror score of all time makes Halloween one of the must see movies every October 31st.
In the Mouth of Madness -- Another film from the legendary John Carpenter, this may be his most under-appreciated film, but it is definitely one of his creepiest. Imagine if you will reading a horror novel that literally drove you mad as you read. This movie has a Twilight Zone feel to it while delivering the chills and jumps expected from Carpenter.
Scream -- While this movie is part horror and part satire it is one of horror master Wes Craven’s greatest achievements. The slasher element exists as a masked killer stalks high-school kids, but the killer here is different from all other slasher villains. The satire enters as the movie breaks and lampoons the “rules” that supposedly exist in slasher films. Craven made perfect casting choices with Scream and as always, his eye behind the camera is dead-on. So if you want some laughs and chills, Scream is your movie.
House of 1000 Corpses -- And now for something completely different… Heavy metal singer Rob Zombie wrote and directed this campy homage to 1970s horror centered on a group of teens in search of stories about an infamous serial killer named Dr. Satan. They become stranded and fall prey to a murderous backwoods Texas family. With a cast featuring cult movie legends Bill Moseley and Sid Haig, House of 1000 Corpses is gruesome, creepy and most of all, fun.
Jeepers Creepers -- I’m not sure what is scarier, the Creeper or this fact this movie made Justin Long a star. I’d like to think a demon who needs to eat body parts to regenerate his own would win on that one, but let’s call it a tie. Jeepers Creepers begins delivering right from the start with a scene of menacing road rage and the suspense and thrills continue until the shocking end. (SPOILER ALERT: The bad guy wins!)
Have a great Halloween weekend everyone. And make sure to enjoy some scary movies.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Not a parody post
October 23 marked the 52nd birthday of one of my generation's greatest comedic minds. Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic blew out the candles Saturday. I've been a "Weird Al" fan since I was in elementary school. I've enjoyed his mega-hits like "Eat It", "Fat" and "Amish Paradise" as well lesser known tracks such as "She Drives Like Crazy" and "Do I Creep You Out?". And who could forget the Al Originals like "Dare to be Stupid", "UHF" and "The Night Santa Went Crazy"? Al has had a fantastic career and to this day remains the undisputed champion of the parody. In honor of his birthday, I am going to discuss a few of my all-time favorite "Weird Al" songs.
"A Complicated Song" -- A parody of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated"
When I think of jokes about constipation, incest and accidental beheadings, I'm expecting a stand-up routine from Larry the Cable Guy. However, Al pulls this song off without going overboard with the humor.
"Truck Drivin Song" -- A "Weird Al" original
I wonder if Al was watching Smokey and the Bandit when he was inspired to write this song about a cross-dressing truck driver. The combination of trucker lingo and descriptions of the outfit being worn make this one of Al's best original songs ever.
"Ode to a Superhero" -- A parody of Billy Joel's "Piano Man"
OK, I am one of the people who thought Spider-Man was a terrible movie. But Al's five-minute recap of the entire movie sung to the tune of the classic Billy Joel song is fantastic. It's the entire story without the horrible acting of Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst.
"Theme to Rocky XIII" -- parody of Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"
Wow, there were almost enough Rocky sequels to make this accurate.
"Happy Birthday" -- A "Weird Al" original
Only Al could make nucelar annihilation and the destruction of the planet hilarious.
"It's All About the Pentiums" -- A parody of Notorious B.I.G.'s "It's All About the Benjamins"
This is one of Al's most under-appreciated songs and I can't figure out why. With lines such as "You're just about as useless as JPEG's to Helen Keller!" and "If I ever meet you I'll Ctl-Alt-Delete you!", this is one of Al's most hilarious songs.
"Headline News" -- A parody of Crash Test Dummies "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"
A Weird Al roast of the ridiculous news stories which captivated America in the early 1990s. The verse about JohnWayne Bobbitt is over-the-top and funny enough to make your tummy hurt from laughter.
"One More Minute" -- A "Weird Al" original
This break-up song from Al discusses all the horrible and disgusting things he'd rather do than spend another solitary minute with the former love of his life. It's a classic.
"Weird Al" has been performing for nearly 30 years and still remains at the top of his game. His comic genius will never be matched. Even with a few missteps, (like most of the Alapalooza album) he has continued to entertain us again and again. Thanks Al, and keep the laughs coming!
"A Complicated Song" -- A parody of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated"
When I think of jokes about constipation, incest and accidental beheadings, I'm expecting a stand-up routine from Larry the Cable Guy. However, Al pulls this song off without going overboard with the humor.
"Truck Drivin Song" -- A "Weird Al" original
I wonder if Al was watching Smokey and the Bandit when he was inspired to write this song about a cross-dressing truck driver. The combination of trucker lingo and descriptions of the outfit being worn make this one of Al's best original songs ever.
"Ode to a Superhero" -- A parody of Billy Joel's "Piano Man"
OK, I am one of the people who thought Spider-Man was a terrible movie. But Al's five-minute recap of the entire movie sung to the tune of the classic Billy Joel song is fantastic. It's the entire story without the horrible acting of Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst.
"Theme to Rocky XIII" -- parody of Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"
Wow, there were almost enough Rocky sequels to make this accurate.
"Happy Birthday" -- A "Weird Al" original
Only Al could make nucelar annihilation and the destruction of the planet hilarious.
"It's All About the Pentiums" -- A parody of Notorious B.I.G.'s "It's All About the Benjamins"
This is one of Al's most under-appreciated songs and I can't figure out why. With lines such as "You're just about as useless as JPEG's to Helen Keller!" and "If I ever meet you I'll Ctl-Alt-Delete you!", this is one of Al's most hilarious songs.
"Headline News" -- A parody of Crash Test Dummies "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"
A Weird Al roast of the ridiculous news stories which captivated America in the early 1990s. The verse about JohnWayne Bobbitt is over-the-top and funny enough to make your tummy hurt from laughter.
"One More Minute" -- A "Weird Al" original
This break-up song from Al discusses all the horrible and disgusting things he'd rather do than spend another solitary minute with the former love of his life. It's a classic.
"Weird Al" has been performing for nearly 30 years and still remains at the top of his game. His comic genius will never be matched. Even with a few missteps, (like most of the Alapalooza album) he has continued to entertain us again and again. Thanks Al, and keep the laughs coming!
Friday, October 21, 2011
The first of many...
This will be the first of many posts with an abundance of random thoughts.
There is little better on a cold, rainy day than homemade chicken noodle soup.
Finding a Pittsburgh Steelers Chad Brown jersey at the thrift store for $2.00 is a wonderful thing!
The Seattle Seahawks have ZERO viable options at quarterback.
What is wrong with the 50/50 split of basketball related revenue offered by the owners to the players? Turning down that offer makes the players look greedy. And with the current political climate, that's not a good thing.
Dear Pittsburgh Pirates, sign Derrek Lee.
This year's offering of horror movies is weak. There is nothing worth paying $8 to go see.
Happiness is cuddled in a blanket with a sleeping puppy.
J. Edgar will be the big Oscar movie.
In most (but certainly not all) cases, the Tea Party protesters are a better class of people than the Occupy crowd. Despite the leftist media's attempt to discredit them, you do not see examples of Tea Partiers damaging property, leaving litter everywhere or requiring a police presence.
America's two most annoying "celebrities" are Snooki and Rachel from Big Brother.
I hope alt-metal band The Pretty Reckless one day becomes a headliner.
There is never a bad time for coffee.
See you all next time.
There is little better on a cold, rainy day than homemade chicken noodle soup.
Finding a Pittsburgh Steelers Chad Brown jersey at the thrift store for $2.00 is a wonderful thing!
The Seattle Seahawks have ZERO viable options at quarterback.
What is wrong with the 50/50 split of basketball related revenue offered by the owners to the players? Turning down that offer makes the players look greedy. And with the current political climate, that's not a good thing.
Dear Pittsburgh Pirates, sign Derrek Lee.
This year's offering of horror movies is weak. There is nothing worth paying $8 to go see.
Happiness is cuddled in a blanket with a sleeping puppy.
J. Edgar will be the big Oscar movie.
In most (but certainly not all) cases, the Tea Party protesters are a better class of people than the Occupy crowd. Despite the leftist media's attempt to discredit them, you do not see examples of Tea Partiers damaging property, leaving litter everywhere or requiring a police presence.
America's two most annoying "celebrities" are Snooki and Rachel from Big Brother.
I hope alt-metal band The Pretty Reckless one day becomes a headliner.
There is never a bad time for coffee.
See you all next time.
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