These are some gifts I would have delivered...
Lindsay Lohan: Her own island. If she has her own island, there is no reason for her to own a car. So she can be as drunk as she wants whenever she wants.
PBS: Commercials. It's the 21st century. Adapt.
George Lucas: a Neurolizer
Wiz Khalifa: a new hometown. Seriously, how many of you Pittsburghers out there actually claim Wiz as one of us?
Tingles Matthews: some Ben Gay to help whatever is ailing that leg
Chris Brown: Three rounds with Wladimir Klitschko. Go ahead Chris, throw a punch now.
UAW: A bill for the money lost on the GM bailout
Rachel Maddow: I can't be mean on Christmas... on to the next one
New York City: A new mayor
Taylor Swift: relationship counseling
Nicolas Cage: A good script.
Ron Paul: an apology from the RNC
I hope you all had a great Christmas and got everything you wanted!
