What happens when you put a sarcastic game warden, grumpy police chief, prissy paleontologist, flamboyant mythology professor and a potty mouthed widow in the same movie? Well you get total hilarity and shenanigans. That's exactly what Lake Placid delivers. The film isn't set at Lake Placid. It is fictional Lake Black in Maine. The Lake Placid title comes from how unusually serene this particular lake seems to be. You know, like a quiet summer night.
Lake Placid is low budget horror-comedy at its finest, if you can ignore the absurdity of a 30-foot crocodile being in a Maine lake. So here is what gets us started. A scuba diver is chomped in half by an unseen underwater creature and a very strange tooth is found in his remains. The coroner's office calls a museum in New York. I guess Boston was a little too close. They send Bridget Fonda (and her wilderness hating, snooty NYC ass) to examine the tooth. There she meets the sheriff (Brenden Gleeson) and game warden Bill Pullman. Neither one has any patience for her New Yorkness and they won't stop calling her ma'am. Even as they trade barbs and jabs, you can tell she and Pullman want each other. I guess it is only in movies opposites attract.
Oliver Platt shows up in a bit and things get weird. He's a mythology professor who believes crocodiles to be deities and descendants of dragons. He also believes they respect him and therefore will not eat him. Oh, he's a good trapper. That's not really relevant with a 30-foot croc, but it is worth mentioning. I did say hilarity and shenanigans, remember? Platt, as he does in many of his films, provides one of the film's most entertaining characters. He's out done only by someone old enough to be his grandmother. We'll get to that in a bit. But how could Platt turn down sex with a gorgeous deputy to swim with a 30-foot crocodile?
For those of you who think a 30-foot crocodile is impossible, it's not that far fetched. The largest crocodile ever caught was 27 feet long. This occurred off the coast of Australia. (Of course it did. Something that cool couldn't happen anywhere else.) In the film, the croc is identified as an Asian crocodile. It is likely a reference to a saltwater crocodile, the world's most aggressive crocodile. This crocodile type has also been known to travel long distances and move into lakes and rivers with proximity to the ocean. A 30-foot crocodile could also very likely weigh 4500 pounds and devour most of a lake's residents with ease. However, a 30-foot remote controlled croc was used for the movie.
The scene stealer of Lake Placid is Betty White. She plays a foul mouthed old lady who lives next to the lake. Hearing words such as "fuck meat" leave the mouth of Betty White is absolutely priceless. She says that (along with some other jaw dropping vulgarities) with such conviction and intent it sounds like she says it every day. She also has a fetish for large reptiles. No, that's not sexual innuendo.
Brenden Gleeson is like a white Charles S. Dutton in this movie. You'll just have to trust me on this one. I think I have it nailed. He and Platt have a great comedic chemistry in this film. Their scenes are very much like two brothers arguing. As much as I hate to call anything a weak link in this movie, I can't let this go. Bill Pullman is kind of there most of the time. Come to think of it, that's true of most of his movies.
Lake Placid is fun from start to finish. It is mostly comedy (written by Ally McBeal creator David E. Kelly) but his its share of jumps and jolts. If nothing more, watch it to enjoy the wonderful performances of Oliver Platt and Betty White. Avoid the sequels. None of the original casts returns for them and they all totally suck anyway. But for a fun 90 or so minutes of horror-com, pop Lake Placid into the DVD player and enjoy the fun.
Thank you all once again for reading. I appreciate it. And as always, if you cannot be the poet, be the poem.
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