Since the summer blockbuster season is beginning to come around, I've decided to dedicate this post to some movies so bad, they are worth watching and even owning if you can find them in a bargain bin somewhere.
Stone Cold -- This low-budget action flick stars former football player Brian Bosworth as a loose-cannon cop sent undercover into a white supremacist biker gang after a series of assassinations on judges and prosecutors. Now I've seen a lot of bad action movies, but this disaster from 1991 is still near the top of my list for awful action flicks. And even though I love this movie for being so bad, I'm kind of saddened half decent actors Lance Henrickson and William Forsythe were part of this. Nevertheless, if you need 90 minutes of horribly choreographed action and awful dialog check out this flick.
The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh -- NBA Hall of Famers Julius Erving and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar team up with comic legend Jonathan Winters in this air ball of a movie about the hapless and astrologically challenged basketball team, the Pittsburgh Pisces. This brick is classified as a comedy, but the writers must have not been told about that. Speaking as a lifelong Pittsburgher, this is one movie I like to forget was filmed here. But for some eye-rolling, head-shaking, insomnia-fueled movie watching, you could do worse.
I Come In Peace -- Dolph Lundgren stars in this low budget sci-fi/action train wreck about an alien harvesting a highly potent and addictive drug from human brains. This movie is so bad it has yet to be released on DVD in the United States. However, the movie can be found on DVD outside if the USA under the title Dark Angel. So your only chance right now is if you still own a VHS player. This movie was directed by the same person who directed the previously mentioned Stone Cold, so that should tell you something. But it is one of those cheesy, mindless flicks to watch when you are bored late at night.
The Greenskeeper -- This very low budget horror flick (an estimated $80, 000), stars former major league closer John Rocker and it's tagline is "It's par for the corpse". If you aren't already intrigued and hooked, there is nothing else about this movie I can tell you to change that. Except maybe for this: blood and gore and naked women. Does that help? If so, then check out this bunker shot of a slasher movie.
Angel Fist -- Cat Sassoon, the late daughter of Vidal Sassoon, stars in this martial arts debacle. Cat was a trained martial artist and former WKA North American Champion but it didn't seem to matter in the fight scenes, as they were poorly done. But the topless fight scene will definitely distract viewers from the poor fight quality. The dialogue in Angel Fist is even worse than what was uttered in Stone Cold and the acting was twice as bad as the dialogue. But there is something hypnotic about bad martial arts movies and Angel Fist fits that category perfectly.
I could go on with more, but I need to save a few for the sequel! So grab some popcorn, Sno-Caps and a Coke and set yourself up for a night of movies so bad, they're awesome!
Follow me on Twitter!
https://twitter.com/#!/JTLovecraft
