Saturday, March 22, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Getting Personal: Relationships
It's been awhile since I posted a glimpse into my personal life. So here we go into my thoughts on relationships.
I'm divorced. The marriage failed badly. But it wasn't one of those bitter divorces you hear horror stories about. She and I knew it was for the best and handled things maturely and peacefully. Don't ask me what caused it to fail because I still don't honestly know. It could have been a number of things. The bottom line remains: she and I couldn't keep it together. It's not like we got married and planned to get divorced a few years later. We had grander plans, believe me. But it's not to be. It's over. However, it doesn't stop a small part of me hurting for something that will never happen: a second chance.
So what have I been doing since then? Not dating, that's for sure. Since the separation and divorce, dating hasn't been a priority. I did have a few flings though. Three, to be exact. And one near fling, but the woman involved got cold feet at the idea of a no-strings attached relationship. Now that I think about it, one of the three flings was probably a step or two above a "fling". Anyway, I've been telling myself since we split up I don't want anything serious. Well that's still the case. Sort of.
I do want something serious. I just don't want it right now. Down the road, I'm sure a serious and committed relationship will be wonderful. But I want to take my time getting there. I want to have fun and hang out with someone and get to know her and develop something strong to build on. Then, and only then, will I want to take the turn down Serious Street or Commitment Boulevard. If I start hanging out with someone and we both realize serious wouldn't work, well it's better to find that out sooner than later. And at that point, friendship is still a possible direction. And friendship is always a good thing to find because it is so rare. Of course, hanging out and having fun can lead to no-strings attached situations as well. I'm not saying those are bad, but at some point you must say goodbye to that lifestyle. And I am going to be picky with my next serious relationship. Not that I wasn't with my ex-wife, because I was. Just ask my Mom. There's a rumor she once asked my younger brother if I was gay because I brought women around so infrequently. Meh. Whatever.
So basically, I would to have someone around in the morning for coffee and someone there at night for cuddles. But I don't want that person to have permanent access to me right away. I'd like to start off with visitation rights, so to speak. Lol. Not to sound institutional or anything. :-P But that's the way it must be. It's the only way for me to be fair to myself and any future significant other. Hopefully there are women out there with taking these steps. Hopefully there are women out there capable of dealing with whatever level of relationship we do (or don't) reach. (I already dealt with one crazy bitch after a fling. I don't want to do it again.) Now I'm sure there are women out there who can handle it. It's just a matter of finding them.
Thank you all again for reading. I appreciate the support for this blog. Even with the inconsistency of my posts. And remember, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
www.facebook.com/jtlovecraft <----LIKE the page!
I'm divorced. The marriage failed badly. But it wasn't one of those bitter divorces you hear horror stories about. She and I knew it was for the best and handled things maturely and peacefully. Don't ask me what caused it to fail because I still don't honestly know. It could have been a number of things. The bottom line remains: she and I couldn't keep it together. It's not like we got married and planned to get divorced a few years later. We had grander plans, believe me. But it's not to be. It's over. However, it doesn't stop a small part of me hurting for something that will never happen: a second chance.
So what have I been doing since then? Not dating, that's for sure. Since the separation and divorce, dating hasn't been a priority. I did have a few flings though. Three, to be exact. And one near fling, but the woman involved got cold feet at the idea of a no-strings attached relationship. Now that I think about it, one of the three flings was probably a step or two above a "fling". Anyway, I've been telling myself since we split up I don't want anything serious. Well that's still the case. Sort of.
I do want something serious. I just don't want it right now. Down the road, I'm sure a serious and committed relationship will be wonderful. But I want to take my time getting there. I want to have fun and hang out with someone and get to know her and develop something strong to build on. Then, and only then, will I want to take the turn down Serious Street or Commitment Boulevard. If I start hanging out with someone and we both realize serious wouldn't work, well it's better to find that out sooner than later. And at that point, friendship is still a possible direction. And friendship is always a good thing to find because it is so rare. Of course, hanging out and having fun can lead to no-strings attached situations as well. I'm not saying those are bad, but at some point you must say goodbye to that lifestyle. And I am going to be picky with my next serious relationship. Not that I wasn't with my ex-wife, because I was. Just ask my Mom. There's a rumor she once asked my younger brother if I was gay because I brought women around so infrequently. Meh. Whatever.
So basically, I would to have someone around in the morning for coffee and someone there at night for cuddles. But I don't want that person to have permanent access to me right away. I'd like to start off with visitation rights, so to speak. Lol. Not to sound institutional or anything. :-P But that's the way it must be. It's the only way for me to be fair to myself and any future significant other. Hopefully there are women out there with taking these steps. Hopefully there are women out there capable of dealing with whatever level of relationship we do (or don't) reach. (I already dealt with one crazy bitch after a fling. I don't want to do it again.) Now I'm sure there are women out there who can handle it. It's just a matter of finding them.
Thank you all again for reading. I appreciate the support for this blog. Even with the inconsistency of my posts. And remember, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
www.facebook.com/jtlovecraft <----LIKE the page!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
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