A few months ago, when I decided to change the direction of this blog and also put more emphasis on it as a whole, I stated I would occasionally present to you entries about my life. This is the first of such entries.
I'm sure I'm not alone in going to a job five days a week that isn't anything close to what I'd prefer to be doing. I have no doubt many of you out there do the same thing. I have a job that provides consistent hours, health insurance and a 401K. Many people right now would trade body part or prized possessions to have such a job. I understand that and I'm not ungrateful for the job I do have. The thing is, I hate it. It's repetitive and boring and so not me. Yes, it's better than sweating in a 100+ degree kitchen all day. I'm sitting in an office all day instead. Now, I'm not completely against ever working in a restaurant again. But if I do, it'll be because I own the place. I'm not going to be the kitchen bitch ever again.
What would I do instead of working in an office, you ask? Well I don't think the porn career is ever going to happen, so I can cross that off the list. I can't make a living writing this blog. However, if any of you know someone who would pay me to write this shit, please let me know. I need a job where I can use my creativity, even if it just in short bursts throughout the day. I don't have that right now and it's killing me. Not killing me physically, but it's killing me mentally and emotionally and that might be worse. If I could go to a new job this week, it would be to work for Revolver. (For those of you unfamiliar with Revolver, it's a hard rock/heavy metal magazine.) That's a job I would love. I'd be channeling my creativity and dealing with content in which I was truly interested. I'm not interested in the least amount with what I do five days a week right now. Again, I'm sure many of you out there feel the same way about your jobs. I know we all have bills to pay and food to buy so we do what we must. It would be better though if I didn't thoroughly hate it.
Me not liking my job has nothing to do with the company. The company is great and my co-workers are great. The employees do a lot of charity work, most notably with Relay for Life. They hold fund raisers for employees who have a death in the family or are victim of a natural disaster. The company offers incentives to employees who wish to quit smoking or lose weight as well as encouraging blood donation. So I can say nothing negative about the company. It's just not a place for someone with a raging imagination. So hopefully you all can see my dilemma. I appreciate the perks and benefits which come with this job. But there is this part of me that needs more. There is this voice inside me screaming to be unleashed upon the world. I have this creative spirit suffering each day it's oppressed and silenced as I sit at a desk processing sample product orders for a promotional products company. But it's what pays the bills and it's the life I live. At least I can wear my iPod while I'm working. It's probably the only thing keeping me sane.
This was part one of a look inside the Craft. I'm not sure how often I'll post entries like this, but they will get more personal moving forward. Thank you all for reading and as you should know by now, if you cannot be the poet, be the poem.
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