The first time I ever saw a Winger video I said, "Hey, the singer looks like my friend's brother!" Now that's not why I took a liking to Winger, but it is what initially grabbed my attention. The video in question was their trademark power ballad "Headed for a Heartbreak". Granted, this song broke zero new ground and wouldn't even be in my top ten best power ballads of all time. But it did get me started down the path of Winger fandom.
Now most people laugh when I mention Winger as a band I like. I'm guessing they gave far too much credit to Beavis & Butt-Head's lovable loser, Stuart for making Winger seem lame. That however is far from the truth. Yes, singing a song about sex with an underage girl broke zero new ground as KISS, Motley Crue and Bon Jovi have all done that before. What sets Winger apart from other bands of this era is singer, Kip Winger.
Kip was not the typical hair band singer. He didn't have the higher octave voice commonly possessed by hair band singers (Vince Neil, Axl Rose, Tom Keifer, Taime Downe, Dee Snider, etc). Granted, Jon Bon Jovi and Brett Michaels weren't higher octave singers either, but I will get to them later. Kip had a deeper voice and when necessary, it was gutteral and gravelly. This is very noticeable on the band's hit song, "Can't Get Enuff". It also shows up on songs such as "Junkyard Dog" and "Down Incognito". His deeper voice also worked well on ballads such as "Miles Away" and the previously mentioned "Headed for a Heartbreak". Kip rarely receives credit for being a good vocalist and that is truly unfair.
"Can't Get Enuff" is may favorite Winger video. It's sexy, just dirty enough and fun. Most videos from that era weren't able to capture all three. In fact, most couldn't capture two. Winger pulled this video off perfectly.
Another area where Kip receives zero credit is charisma. Jon Bon Jovi and Bret Michaels steal the entire category here. I can't say that is entirely unreasonable. They were the two most charismatic singers of the era. And even now in the 21st century, Bret Michaels has become a TV darling and Jon Bon Jovi as his own line in Avon. So obviously, the still got it. I think Kip was looked over because his charisma wasn't the charming kind of charisma. Kip had an animalistic kind of charisma. It was actually a "let's-fuck-in-the-alley-during-a-thunderstorm" kind of charisma. It was that different kind of vibe Kip gave that made Winger's more sexually fueled songs believable. Much more so than when Jon Bon Jovi sang "Lay Your Hands on Me". He was just having fun. When Kip sang a sexual song, you could tell he meant every word, even with a song as cheesy as "Seventeen".
Winger's third album, Pull, was by far their best. It was released in 1993, right around the grunge explosion and was not a huge commercial success but has well received critically and is also widely considered to be the favorite of the fans. It also showed the band exploring some socio-political themes in songs such as "Who's the One" and "Blind Revolution Mad". It is also the album which contains my favorite Winger song, "Down Incognito". That song also appears on my musical biography.
Winger is also a good band to see in concert. The band sounds great live and yes, Kip really can play the harmonica. I saw them when the were a support act for Poison along with Faster Pussycat and Cinderella.
I don't expect to change the minds of any haters but if I even influence you to YouTube a couple Winger videos, I'll say it's a job well done.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
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Monday, July 15, 2013
Where is the support for Antonio's family?
Where is the public support for this child's family? Why has President Obama not made a public statement about how sad he is this happened? Where are all the messages of sympathy from celebrities? America, land of hypocrisy.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
WWE Dream Matches: The Brawls
This is the second entry in a series of my WWE dream matches. As with the first one, consider all participants to be in the prime of their career.
TRIPLE H VS. BRUNO SAMMARTINO -- STEEL CAGE MATCH
Bruno Sammartino is one of professional wrestling's toughest ever competitors. He sold out Madison Square Garden an unbelievable 187 times. It is believed he only lost one steel cage match throughout his entire career. So if you are going to put together a dream match inside a steel cage, who better to have as one of the participants than Bruno? Sammartino also produced two very long title reigns, one just under eight years and another of 40 months. He battled some of the most legendary superstars of all time, including George "The Animal" Steele, Ivan Koloff, Super Star Billy Graham, Freddie Blassie, Gorilla Monsoon and Killer Kowalski. Bruno wasn't specifically a brawler, he could mat wrestle with the best of them. But inside a cage, he was damn near unstoppable.
Like Bruno, Triple H has enjoyed headlining many events. Trips has been in the main event of Wrestlemania multiple times as well as other top of the card feuds with big-time superstars such as Stone Cold, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Undertaker, John Cena, Mick Foley and Ric Flair. Triple H also puts on a show inside a steel cage. He can take a beating and can hand out an equally nasty beating. So putting he and Sammartino inside a cage and letting them beat the hell out of each other would be a no-brainer. I imagine it would sell out Madison Square Garden once again.
Triple H would have a height advantage standing 6'4" with Sammartino checking in at 5'10". However, Bruno tipped the scales during the prime of his career at 265 pounds with Triple H at 255 pounds. These two inside a cage would be brutal and intense with the opportunity to be the best steel cage match of all time.
EDGE VS. JIMMY SNUKA -- LADDER MATCH
I know ladder matches weren't really big during most of Snuka's career, but this is a guy who was known as "Superfly" and did dive off the top of a steel cage so if anyone could adapt and go all-out in a match he's unfamiliar with, it would be Snuka. Superfly has been involved in some very high profile matches including a steel cage title match against Bob Backlund for the WWF Title as and was the first victim in the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak. This is a guy who knows how to put on a show, as does his opponent.
Edge is one of the greatest ladder match competitors of all time. He, along with Christian and the Hardyz, elevated this type of match to heights no wrestling fan ever thought possible. Throughout his run in WWE, Edge was fearless in his matches and took more risks than nearly anyone else. He not only knew how to entertain, but also how to sell a match and make sure his opponent looked good as well. I'm not saying Snuka would need that kind of help in a match, but Edge knowing this type of match would be a benefit.
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. ROWDY RODDY PIPER -- STREET FIGHT
Now, if you want to see two men who know how to throw down in a street fight, it would be Austin and Piper. These guys were rule-breakers and brawlers and have been involved in many rough matches throughout their careers. Keep in mind Piper is a Golden Gloves winner and holds a black belt in Judo, and you can see how he is a perfect choice for a street fight type match.
Stone Cold Steve Austin is WWE's most legendary rule breaker and brawler and has gone toe-to-toe with the toughest in the wrestling industry. A street fight with Piper would be nothing short of iconic. Both Piper and Austin fought every match with a chip on their shoulder and a never-say-day attitude. You would expect these guys to use anything they could get their hands on as a weapon in an effort to win. I also have no doubt the announcer's table would need some repairs by the end of the match. Whatever the result of the match, you can guaran-damn-tee it would be, to steal a term from JR, a slobberknocker.
There you have it, my choices for the WWE dream matches brawl edition. There will be one left in this series and that will be the tag team matches. Until next time, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
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TRIPLE H VS. BRUNO SAMMARTINO -- STEEL CAGE MATCH
Bruno Sammartino is one of professional wrestling's toughest ever competitors. He sold out Madison Square Garden an unbelievable 187 times. It is believed he only lost one steel cage match throughout his entire career. So if you are going to put together a dream match inside a steel cage, who better to have as one of the participants than Bruno? Sammartino also produced two very long title reigns, one just under eight years and another of 40 months. He battled some of the most legendary superstars of all time, including George "The Animal" Steele, Ivan Koloff, Super Star Billy Graham, Freddie Blassie, Gorilla Monsoon and Killer Kowalski. Bruno wasn't specifically a brawler, he could mat wrestle with the best of them. But inside a cage, he was damn near unstoppable.
Like Bruno, Triple H has enjoyed headlining many events. Trips has been in the main event of Wrestlemania multiple times as well as other top of the card feuds with big-time superstars such as Stone Cold, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Undertaker, John Cena, Mick Foley and Ric Flair. Triple H also puts on a show inside a steel cage. He can take a beating and can hand out an equally nasty beating. So putting he and Sammartino inside a cage and letting them beat the hell out of each other would be a no-brainer. I imagine it would sell out Madison Square Garden once again.
Triple H would have a height advantage standing 6'4" with Sammartino checking in at 5'10". However, Bruno tipped the scales during the prime of his career at 265 pounds with Triple H at 255 pounds. These two inside a cage would be brutal and intense with the opportunity to be the best steel cage match of all time.
EDGE VS. JIMMY SNUKA -- LADDER MATCH
I know ladder matches weren't really big during most of Snuka's career, but this is a guy who was known as "Superfly" and did dive off the top of a steel cage so if anyone could adapt and go all-out in a match he's unfamiliar with, it would be Snuka. Superfly has been involved in some very high profile matches including a steel cage title match against Bob Backlund for the WWF Title as and was the first victim in the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak. This is a guy who knows how to put on a show, as does his opponent.
Edge is one of the greatest ladder match competitors of all time. He, along with Christian and the Hardyz, elevated this type of match to heights no wrestling fan ever thought possible. Throughout his run in WWE, Edge was fearless in his matches and took more risks than nearly anyone else. He not only knew how to entertain, but also how to sell a match and make sure his opponent looked good as well. I'm not saying Snuka would need that kind of help in a match, but Edge knowing this type of match would be a benefit.
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. ROWDY RODDY PIPER -- STREET FIGHT
Now, if you want to see two men who know how to throw down in a street fight, it would be Austin and Piper. These guys were rule-breakers and brawlers and have been involved in many rough matches throughout their careers. Keep in mind Piper is a Golden Gloves winner and holds a black belt in Judo, and you can see how he is a perfect choice for a street fight type match.
Stone Cold Steve Austin is WWE's most legendary rule breaker and brawler and has gone toe-to-toe with the toughest in the wrestling industry. A street fight with Piper would be nothing short of iconic. Both Piper and Austin fought every match with a chip on their shoulder and a never-say-day attitude. You would expect these guys to use anything they could get their hands on as a weapon in an effort to win. I also have no doubt the announcer's table would need some repairs by the end of the match. Whatever the result of the match, you can guaran-damn-tee it would be, to steal a term from JR, a slobberknocker.
There you have it, my choices for the WWE dream matches brawl edition. There will be one left in this series and that will be the tag team matches. Until next time, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
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Thursday, July 11, 2013
This Will Be Like Shouting at a Pile of Rocks...
As someone who has become very Libertarian minded, I know this rant will do absolutely nothing to penetrate the cement vaults of all you annoyingly loyal republicans and democrats out there. But I've had this rant bottled up and it must become part of this blog or I will need blood pressure medication and a shrink. And also quite possibly, a lawyer. So if any of you out there who still refuse to budge from either of the two Big Evils are in any way a bit overly sensitive, just stop reading now. To the rest of you who can handle some anger and a verbal Gibbs slap, read on!
Let me start with you recraplicans. What the fuck? No, really...what the fuck? Ever since Wrongney lost the election you have sat back and watched your members of Congress kneel down and take it on the face for the Obama administration. You have watched in silence, making the occasional symbolic and idle threat as the RINO's destroy a once proud party. It is all of you who have allowed gutless and mentally impotent people like John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Susan Collins, Lamar Alexander, Orrin Hatch, Pat Toomey and Marco Rubio to slowly chip away at everything classic Republicans hold dear to their hearts. And lest we forget, just a few months ago, Senator Rubio was thought to be the shining beacon of great light to lead the party forward. I understand there are some of you still out there who want to force the RINOs into extinction. I know a few of them personally. But there aren't enough. Too many recraplicans are indifferent about the destruction of our freedoms and the raping of your liberties. The problem is many of you rely on Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly for information. And that is not simply a little problem. It's a really fucking big one. Don't get me wrong, Rush is a great entertainer and he actually puts research into what he discusses. But if he is your go-to for direction, you have some serious issues. As for Hannity and O'Reilly, both are pompous morons. In O'Reilly's case, quite possibly a drunk and pompous moron. Eliminate the latter two from your life completely. Limit your exposure to Limbaugh. (If you are wondering why I haven't mentioned Glen Beck, I'm not sure where I stand with him. Part of me wants to believe he had a Libertarian revelation, but forgive me if I am not convinced.) Push the homophobes in your party over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Oh, and tell Sarah Palin to go back to Alaska and wrestle a polar bear or jerkoff a moose or whatever it is she does. She sure as hell cannot be allowed to be a player in the republican party. Listen to me, republicans. Start taking your party back. Stand up and make right all the wrongs which have been done in the past five years. Or, if you see it as a sinking ship not worthy of rescuing, join the Libertarian crusade. And before you start throwing back questions at me about the liberal social beliefs of the Libertarian party, consider this: Libertarians are able to keep separate personal and social/political beliefs. Just because you wouldn't choose abortion in your personal life doesn't mean you can't support the right of woman to decide on her own free will what's best for her life. Because frankly, it's none of your damn business anyway. If you are a frustrated republican and want a new (but longer) road, if you can accept the attitude I describe in the previous sentence, if you love liberty and freedom above all else, come on over. We could use your help. If you can't, or aren't willing...well stay with the clusterfuck of a failing party you helped create. You're beyond reason or saving.
OK, now on to you demoncrats. First off, stop watching Bill Maher, Piers Morgan, Chris Matthews and Al Sharpton. (I know only about 57 of you out there actually watch Sharpton's show, but please stop.) Those people are full of nothing but hatred, propaganda, venom and misinformation. That goes quadruple for that Bill Maher asshole. The sooner we get him off the air, the better America will be for it. On a Congressional level, you need to rid your party of degenerative twatrags like Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. I has happy we got rid of a mushbrained tool when John Kerry accepted a cabinet position (make your liquor joke) in the O administration. However, you old money, blue blood, wrinkly white people voters up there in ASSachusetts just sent a Kerry clone right back to the Senate in Ed Markey. Seriously, what wrong with you up there in MA? Senility? You had a chance to elect a young, Hispanic, former Navy SEAL with a business degree from Harvard and you chose the old white guy. The problem with you democrats is you want so badly for the first half-black prince to succeed, you are willing to accept anything his administration does and good, noble and in the best interest of the United States. Unfortunately, none of it is. You've been duped. You are just as gutless and mentally impotent as the people who continue to send the RINOs to Congress. However, when you vote for these degenrates you know what you're getting. I'm certain that actually makes you worse. You demoncrats, just like the recraplicans, showed nothing but apathy as the Obama administration slowly stripped you of your liberty and freedom. You watched complacently as it all happened. (And I haven't even touched on Benghazi and our soldiers still being in harm's way.) But fear not, there is still hope. The democrat party can once again be something JFK would be proud of. But to fix your party you have to start by taking out the trash. To begin cleaning up your party you first need to remove the vagina worshipers from the pro-choice movement. That type of militant attitude and behavior is destroying the movement and alienating those who actually respect what the pro-choice movement is all about. The Libertarians understand and respect it. And you sure as hell won't hear them chanting "hail Satan". Get that filth away from your party. The same goes for the nitwits who think guns murder people. People murder people, not inanimate objects. Removing those two types of people from the party will raise the collective IQ considerably. If some of you democrats out there think this is a hopeless endeavor, there is also room for you in the Libertarian party. If you are willing to explore fiscal issues in a different light and want government to stay out of your shit, then join us. We can use your help also. It's time to say enough is enough with this oppressive, government-knows-best nonsense. Step out of the crowd and walk with us. It will be a difficult path, but more fulfilling. You will see yourself as actually part of something instead of being just a voiced drowning in the mob.
Both the jackass and the elephant are equally responsible for the horrible condition of America. Both parties now believe it is OK to illegally spy on Americans. Both parties have accepted possible drone attacks on American soil as reasonable. The NDAA was bi-partisan. Is that the America in which you want to live? Do you want your freedom and liberty back? Would you love nothing more than to simply live your life as you damn please? If that is what you want you have two choices. The first is to begin a crusade to remove the trash from your respective party. The second choice is to choose a new party: the Libertarian party. I am a supporter of the porcupine. We could use some help in our fight. It doesn't hurt to do some reading on our views and decide for yourself if you fit in. Unlike the other two parties, we don't tell you how to think. We give you the opportunity to think.
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Let me start with you recraplicans. What the fuck? No, really...what the fuck? Ever since Wrongney lost the election you have sat back and watched your members of Congress kneel down and take it on the face for the Obama administration. You have watched in silence, making the occasional symbolic and idle threat as the RINO's destroy a once proud party. It is all of you who have allowed gutless and mentally impotent people like John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Susan Collins, Lamar Alexander, Orrin Hatch, Pat Toomey and Marco Rubio to slowly chip away at everything classic Republicans hold dear to their hearts. And lest we forget, just a few months ago, Senator Rubio was thought to be the shining beacon of great light to lead the party forward. I understand there are some of you still out there who want to force the RINOs into extinction. I know a few of them personally. But there aren't enough. Too many recraplicans are indifferent about the destruction of our freedoms and the raping of your liberties. The problem is many of you rely on Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly for information. And that is not simply a little problem. It's a really fucking big one. Don't get me wrong, Rush is a great entertainer and he actually puts research into what he discusses. But if he is your go-to for direction, you have some serious issues. As for Hannity and O'Reilly, both are pompous morons. In O'Reilly's case, quite possibly a drunk and pompous moron. Eliminate the latter two from your life completely. Limit your exposure to Limbaugh. (If you are wondering why I haven't mentioned Glen Beck, I'm not sure where I stand with him. Part of me wants to believe he had a Libertarian revelation, but forgive me if I am not convinced.) Push the homophobes in your party over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Oh, and tell Sarah Palin to go back to Alaska and wrestle a polar bear or jerkoff a moose or whatever it is she does. She sure as hell cannot be allowed to be a player in the republican party. Listen to me, republicans. Start taking your party back. Stand up and make right all the wrongs which have been done in the past five years. Or, if you see it as a sinking ship not worthy of rescuing, join the Libertarian crusade. And before you start throwing back questions at me about the liberal social beliefs of the Libertarian party, consider this: Libertarians are able to keep separate personal and social/political beliefs. Just because you wouldn't choose abortion in your personal life doesn't mean you can't support the right of woman to decide on her own free will what's best for her life. Because frankly, it's none of your damn business anyway. If you are a frustrated republican and want a new (but longer) road, if you can accept the attitude I describe in the previous sentence, if you love liberty and freedom above all else, come on over. We could use your help. If you can't, or aren't willing...well stay with the clusterfuck of a failing party you helped create. You're beyond reason or saving.
OK, now on to you demoncrats. First off, stop watching Bill Maher, Piers Morgan, Chris Matthews and Al Sharpton. (I know only about 57 of you out there actually watch Sharpton's show, but please stop.) Those people are full of nothing but hatred, propaganda, venom and misinformation. That goes quadruple for that Bill Maher asshole. The sooner we get him off the air, the better America will be for it. On a Congressional level, you need to rid your party of degenerative twatrags like Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. I has happy we got rid of a mushbrained tool when John Kerry accepted a cabinet position (make your liquor joke) in the O administration. However, you old money, blue blood, wrinkly white people voters up there in ASSachusetts just sent a Kerry clone right back to the Senate in Ed Markey. Seriously, what wrong with you up there in MA? Senility? You had a chance to elect a young, Hispanic, former Navy SEAL with a business degree from Harvard and you chose the old white guy. The problem with you democrats is you want so badly for the first half-black prince to succeed, you are willing to accept anything his administration does and good, noble and in the best interest of the United States. Unfortunately, none of it is. You've been duped. You are just as gutless and mentally impotent as the people who continue to send the RINOs to Congress. However, when you vote for these degenrates you know what you're getting. I'm certain that actually makes you worse. You demoncrats, just like the recraplicans, showed nothing but apathy as the Obama administration slowly stripped you of your liberty and freedom. You watched complacently as it all happened. (And I haven't even touched on Benghazi and our soldiers still being in harm's way.) But fear not, there is still hope. The democrat party can once again be something JFK would be proud of. But to fix your party you have to start by taking out the trash. To begin cleaning up your party you first need to remove the vagina worshipers from the pro-choice movement. That type of militant attitude and behavior is destroying the movement and alienating those who actually respect what the pro-choice movement is all about. The Libertarians understand and respect it. And you sure as hell won't hear them chanting "hail Satan". Get that filth away from your party. The same goes for the nitwits who think guns murder people. People murder people, not inanimate objects. Removing those two types of people from the party will raise the collective IQ considerably. If some of you democrats out there think this is a hopeless endeavor, there is also room for you in the Libertarian party. If you are willing to explore fiscal issues in a different light and want government to stay out of your shit, then join us. We can use your help also. It's time to say enough is enough with this oppressive, government-knows-best nonsense. Step out of the crowd and walk with us. It will be a difficult path, but more fulfilling. You will see yourself as actually part of something instead of being just a voiced drowning in the mob.
Both the jackass and the elephant are equally responsible for the horrible condition of America. Both parties now believe it is OK to illegally spy on Americans. Both parties have accepted possible drone attacks on American soil as reasonable. The NDAA was bi-partisan. Is that the America in which you want to live? Do you want your freedom and liberty back? Would you love nothing more than to simply live your life as you damn please? If that is what you want you have two choices. The first is to begin a crusade to remove the trash from your respective party. The second choice is to choose a new party: the Libertarian party. I am a supporter of the porcupine. We could use some help in our fight. It doesn't hurt to do some reading on our views and decide for yourself if you fit in. Unlike the other two parties, we don't tell you how to think. We give you the opportunity to think.
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Friday, July 5, 2013
Movies So Bad, You Have To See Them: Angelfist
Every once in awhile there comes a movie so awful, you can't take your eyes off of it. Angelfist is one of those movies. This gem of a martial arts movie is from 1991 and Roger Corman served as executive producer. Those of you familiar with him should know exactly what to expect.
The film's hero is Katara/Kat, an FBI agent who travels to the Philippines to investigate the murder of her sister, a photographer who captured images of an assassination. Along the way she meets a doofus who calls himself Alcatraz, a trainer who has seen too many reruns of Magnum P.I. and a stripper named Lorda. She also gets into a few fights.
Kat is played by the late Catya Sassoon. If her last name is familiar, it should be. Her father is the great Vidal. Catya died of an accidental overdose in 2002 and leaves behind a husband and three children. She was at one time the World Karate Association's North American Champion. Catya's martial arts background salvaged the fight scenes, keeping them just above the dreadful level. Even the scene where Kat fights off multiple intruders while topless was awful, albeit visually pleasing. One can even ignore the fact Catya's breasts are loaded with silicone during this scene. Despite looking good while fighting, Catya looks silly when using any type of firearm. And the character of Kat must also be very into hygiene because she showers three times during this movie.
Now lets me say something about the male lead. Alcatraz is played by an actor named Michael Shaner. I don't expect you to recognize his name because I sure as hell didn't. Shaner's most famous role to date is still that of the jumper in Lethal Weapon. That being said, he handles his job of playing a complete tool perfectly.
To avenge her sister's death, Kat must take on a group called the Black Brigade. (I can't even give them points for originality there.) To accomplish this, she must enter a kickboxing tournament called the Kubate. Again, this is not the most original of story lines, but even poorly choreographed female kickboxing can keep the attention of most average audiences. What couldn't keep my attention was the man who helped train Kat for this tournament. He was a cross between Tom Selleck and Danny Trejo and just straight-up awful.
Throw into this movie b-level, b-movie actress Melissa Moore who plays (surprise, surprise) the stripper. Even more so, she plays a stripper who knows how to kickbox.
Angelfist is everything you would expect from a low budget martial arts movie. It's loaded with roll-your-eyes bad dialogue, horrible fight scenes, and campy violence. The bad guys lack substance and the male lead is a complete bozo. There is no chemistry between Sassoon and Shaner. Most porn films have better acting. So why should you watch this? Because it's that damn bad. It's one of those movies so horrible and so facepalmingly bad, you must see it at least once. It's not the worst way to kill 80 minutes of your life. And it is no worse than any of the direct-to-dvd garbage Steven Seagal has released in the past half-decade. So keep your eyes open at used dvd stores for this movie. Watch it once and pass it along to your friends.
Twitter: @JTLovecraft
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The film's hero is Katara/Kat, an FBI agent who travels to the Philippines to investigate the murder of her sister, a photographer who captured images of an assassination. Along the way she meets a doofus who calls himself Alcatraz, a trainer who has seen too many reruns of Magnum P.I. and a stripper named Lorda. She also gets into a few fights.
Kat is played by the late Catya Sassoon. If her last name is familiar, it should be. Her father is the great Vidal. Catya died of an accidental overdose in 2002 and leaves behind a husband and three children. She was at one time the World Karate Association's North American Champion. Catya's martial arts background salvaged the fight scenes, keeping them just above the dreadful level. Even the scene where Kat fights off multiple intruders while topless was awful, albeit visually pleasing. One can even ignore the fact Catya's breasts are loaded with silicone during this scene. Despite looking good while fighting, Catya looks silly when using any type of firearm. And the character of Kat must also be very into hygiene because she showers three times during this movie.
Now lets me say something about the male lead. Alcatraz is played by an actor named Michael Shaner. I don't expect you to recognize his name because I sure as hell didn't. Shaner's most famous role to date is still that of the jumper in Lethal Weapon. That being said, he handles his job of playing a complete tool perfectly.
To avenge her sister's death, Kat must take on a group called the Black Brigade. (I can't even give them points for originality there.) To accomplish this, she must enter a kickboxing tournament called the Kubate. Again, this is not the most original of story lines, but even poorly choreographed female kickboxing can keep the attention of most average audiences. What couldn't keep my attention was the man who helped train Kat for this tournament. He was a cross between Tom Selleck and Danny Trejo and just straight-up awful.
Throw into this movie b-level, b-movie actress Melissa Moore who plays (surprise, surprise) the stripper. Even more so, she plays a stripper who knows how to kickbox.
Angelfist is everything you would expect from a low budget martial arts movie. It's loaded with roll-your-eyes bad dialogue, horrible fight scenes, and campy violence. The bad guys lack substance and the male lead is a complete bozo. There is no chemistry between Sassoon and Shaner. Most porn films have better acting. So why should you watch this? Because it's that damn bad. It's one of those movies so horrible and so facepalmingly bad, you must see it at least once. It's not the worst way to kill 80 minutes of your life. And it is no worse than any of the direct-to-dvd garbage Steven Seagal has released in the past half-decade. So keep your eyes open at used dvd stores for this movie. Watch it once and pass it along to your friends.
Twitter: @JTLovecraft
Facebook: www.facebook.com/JTLovecraft
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Pulled Pork Tacos
Every now and then, I will share one of my personal recipes with you. I present to you my recipe for pulled pork tacos.
INGREDIENTS
2 LB pork loin
1 package of your favorite taco seasoning
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 cup small-diced pineapple*
1 cup diced tomato*
1/2 cup finely chopped onion*
8 OZ Monterey Jack cheese
Your favorite taco shells (I prefer soft shelled for this.)
Your favorite taco sauce
Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
Combine the taco seasoning with the other spices and blend well. Rub the pork loin in the spice mix until completely covered. Place pork loin on oven tray and place on middle rack in oven.
*While the loin is cooking, prepare your toppings.
Check the temperature of the loin after twenty minutes and every ten minutes after until the internal temperature is above 165 degree. Allow ten minutes for the loin to cool and pull into shredded pieces.
You are now ready to assemble and enjoy your pulled pork tacos.
INGREDIENTS
2 LB pork loin
1 package of your favorite taco seasoning
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 cup small-diced pineapple*
1 cup diced tomato*
1/2 cup finely chopped onion*
8 OZ Monterey Jack cheese
Your favorite taco shells (I prefer soft shelled for this.)
Your favorite taco sauce
Preheat the oven to 275 degrees.
Combine the taco seasoning with the other spices and blend well. Rub the pork loin in the spice mix until completely covered. Place pork loin on oven tray and place on middle rack in oven.
*While the loin is cooking, prepare your toppings.
Check the temperature of the loin after twenty minutes and every ten minutes after until the internal temperature is above 165 degree. Allow ten minutes for the loin to cool and pull into shredded pieces.
You are now ready to assemble and enjoy your pulled pork tacos.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Underrated Albums: Pornograffitti
Extreme's 1990 album, Pornograffitti is known for the success of two ballads, both top five hits. The first being the touching acoustic number, "More Than Words". The second is the folk infused "Hole Hearted", which to me is actually a better song than "More Than Words". However, Pornograffitti has much more to offer listeners than a couple ballads. It's an entertaining album filled with funk-fused hard rock and a perfect combination of thought provoking and simply fun lyrics.
Let me start with one of the forgotten singles from the album, "Get the Funk Out". This song had moderate success on rock radio, but was ignored in all other outlets including MTV which rarely played the video. (Yes boys and girls, MTV used to play music videos.) "Funk" brings together 90s hard rock with a horn section to create something that must be played loudly at every opportunity. Primarily, "Get the Funk Out" is a political/social message. I've always thought the Libertarian Party should adopt this as an unofficial anthem. The lyrics are very appropriate:
"You're all invited to the party but you know you didn't have to come. No rotten apple is going to spoil my funk."
And then the chorus: "If you don't like what you see here, get the funk out. We won't try to force feed you, get the funk out."
This song could also be an anthem for the rock and roll crowd as well. As most rock and roll fans will tell you, we don't care what you listen to. Just don't tread on our turf and start any shit.
"Decadence Dance" is not so much political but rather an observation of America and the obsessive need to one up the neighbors or a family member. It's about wanting more and refusing to draw a line or say enough is enough. This track also highlights the guitar work of Nuno Bettencourt, one of hard rock's most underrated guitarists.
The fun side of Extreme shows up on Pornograffitti on tracks such as "Lil Jack Horny" and "Suzi (Wants Her All Day What?)". But let's start with "Jack".
The coolest thing about "Lil Jack Horny" is guest musician Dweezil Zappa showing off his axe grinding skills. The song itself is cheesy but considering the era, it fits right in with all other sexually charged rock songs. "Suzi" is a different story. This time around, the lyrics are done right and when vocalist Gary Cherone yells "Suzi wants her all day sucker", there is no doubt as to what he is referring. "Suzi" indeed does not go with subtle.
"Sweet and sour a bitter tasting treat; It's the only flavor I think she likes to, she likes to eat."
Speaking of Gary Cherone, let's face it, he is a poor man's Mike Patton. Now don't take that as me insulting or disrespecting Cherone (or Patton for that matter). Gary Cherone is an adequate vocalist. You can clearly hear he is having fun with the songs, especially tracks which allow him to ham it up a bit. That being said, I believe he is better suited for ballads rather than hard rocking songs. (This is also evident on Pornograffitti's other ballad "When I First Kissed You".) But keep in mind, Cherone recorded one album as the vocalist for Van Halen. So obviously he is not without talent.
"When I'm President" sounds like a title which would be very political. However, this is pure, over-the-top satire complete with a references to Alice Cooper's "Elected". It's one of my favorite tracks on Pornograffitti for that reason. And this track is great for the Mike Patton comparison as Cherone goes through it with a rap-rock style of vocals.
I can't figure out if the album's title track is a joke or a big middle finger, especially with Cherone screaming the word "sex" repeatedly. I mean it's a song from a 90s rock band about how sex is everywhere you look.
If you own a copy of Pornograffitti, please dust it off and give it another listen. If you don't own it, I'm sure many used CD stores would have it available for a very reasonable price. And there's always iTunes. This is an album that went double platinum based on the strength of two ballads. Just imagine what it could have been had more rockers been paying attention.
Thanks again for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who takes the time to do so. And as always, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
Like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JTLovecraft
Twitter: @JTLovecraft
Let me start with one of the forgotten singles from the album, "Get the Funk Out". This song had moderate success on rock radio, but was ignored in all other outlets including MTV which rarely played the video. (Yes boys and girls, MTV used to play music videos.) "Funk" brings together 90s hard rock with a horn section to create something that must be played loudly at every opportunity. Primarily, "Get the Funk Out" is a political/social message. I've always thought the Libertarian Party should adopt this as an unofficial anthem. The lyrics are very appropriate:
"You're all invited to the party but you know you didn't have to come. No rotten apple is going to spoil my funk."
And then the chorus: "If you don't like what you see here, get the funk out. We won't try to force feed you, get the funk out."
This song could also be an anthem for the rock and roll crowd as well. As most rock and roll fans will tell you, we don't care what you listen to. Just don't tread on our turf and start any shit.
"Decadence Dance" is not so much political but rather an observation of America and the obsessive need to one up the neighbors or a family member. It's about wanting more and refusing to draw a line or say enough is enough. This track also highlights the guitar work of Nuno Bettencourt, one of hard rock's most underrated guitarists.
The fun side of Extreme shows up on Pornograffitti on tracks such as "Lil Jack Horny" and "Suzi (Wants Her All Day What?)". But let's start with "Jack".
The coolest thing about "Lil Jack Horny" is guest musician Dweezil Zappa showing off his axe grinding skills. The song itself is cheesy but considering the era, it fits right in with all other sexually charged rock songs. "Suzi" is a different story. This time around, the lyrics are done right and when vocalist Gary Cherone yells "Suzi wants her all day sucker", there is no doubt as to what he is referring. "Suzi" indeed does not go with subtle.
"Sweet and sour a bitter tasting treat; It's the only flavor I think she likes to, she likes to eat."
Speaking of Gary Cherone, let's face it, he is a poor man's Mike Patton. Now don't take that as me insulting or disrespecting Cherone (or Patton for that matter). Gary Cherone is an adequate vocalist. You can clearly hear he is having fun with the songs, especially tracks which allow him to ham it up a bit. That being said, I believe he is better suited for ballads rather than hard rocking songs. (This is also evident on Pornograffitti's other ballad "When I First Kissed You".) But keep in mind, Cherone recorded one album as the vocalist for Van Halen. So obviously he is not without talent.
"When I'm President" sounds like a title which would be very political. However, this is pure, over-the-top satire complete with a references to Alice Cooper's "Elected". It's one of my favorite tracks on Pornograffitti for that reason. And this track is great for the Mike Patton comparison as Cherone goes through it with a rap-rock style of vocals.
I can't figure out if the album's title track is a joke or a big middle finger, especially with Cherone screaming the word "sex" repeatedly. I mean it's a song from a 90s rock band about how sex is everywhere you look.
If you own a copy of Pornograffitti, please dust it off and give it another listen. If you don't own it, I'm sure many used CD stores would have it available for a very reasonable price. And there's always iTunes. This is an album that went double platinum based on the strength of two ballads. Just imagine what it could have been had more rockers been paying attention.
Thanks again for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who takes the time to do so. And as always, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
Like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JTLovecraft
Twitter: @JTLovecraft
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
A quickie
Coming this weekend, a look back at an album that deserves to be known for more than a ballad.
RIP James Gandolfini.
Do you believe what happened to Michael Hastings was really an accident?
Fuck you, Lil' Wayne.
Like me on Facebook for exclusive Facebook only content! :-)
https://www.facebook.com/JTLovecraft
RIP James Gandolfini.
Do you believe what happened to Michael Hastings was really an accident?
Fuck you, Lil' Wayne.
Like me on Facebook for exclusive Facebook only content! :-)
https://www.facebook.com/JTLovecraft
Monday, June 17, 2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
WWE Dream Matches, Part One
This will be the first in a series of entries detailing my WWE dream matches. This one will focus on matches bringing the best in one-on-one in-ring action. Later entries will focus on brawl oriented matches and also tag team matches. Keep in mind, I am writing this as though all wrestlers are in the prime of the careers.
Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Perfect
Kurt Angle and the late Mr. Perfect had a few things in common when it came to professional wrestling: arrogance, charisma and great technical wrestling skills. Mr. Perfect is already in the WWE Hall of Fame and one day Kurt Angle will be also. A program between these two would have legendary bombastic banter. After all, one was perfect and the other was your Olympic hero. As good as the mic work wold have been for these two, the in-ring action would have been better. If you are a fan of technical wrestling with reversals and submissions and simple holds used as significant moves in the match, then this would have been a match for you. A pinnacle for a feud between Mr. Perfect and Kurt Angle would definitely be a 60-minute ironman match. Allowing those two men to showcase pure in-ring talent in a match which requires to physical conditioning and ring general ability would be nothing less than epic.
CM Punk vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage
There is just something about these two characters which just screams for them to have a match. The contrasting personalities would provide entertaining trash talk. (Imagine Punk mimicking Randy Savage!) And Punk is very much a student of the business. He has not only mastered the aspects of in-ring action but he took it upon himself to learn about the production side of things as well. Randy Savage was very similar in his approach to the business. He believed in the importance of knowing and trusting your opponent and discussing and working on match ideas right up until the entrance music played. Remember his epic match with Ricky Steamboat? CM Punk and Randy Savage would have taken the same approach to a match. They would have traveled together and watched the other's previous matches and been in each other's ear constantly to piece together a match for the ages.
The Rock vs. Shawn Michaels
You could debate for three straight days about which matches in these superstars careers were his best. The Rock and Shawn Michaels were two of the all time best on the mic and also two of the all time best in the ring. Just the mic skills alone would make this one hell of an entertaining feud. The Rock's cocky attitude and goofy humor going up against the just as cocky Shawn Michaels but with a drier sense of humor and Michael's willingness to make fun of himself would give audiences some of the most entertaining banter of all time. The in-ring action would also be epic. Shawn is referred to by many people as the best of all time for good reason. His matches with Triple H, Ric Flair, Undertaker, Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho are among the best matches of all time. The Rock has also had epic encounters with Triple H, Stone Cold, Undertaker and Mick Foley. Both men know how entertain a crowd either with the mic or in the ring. And this would be an Wrestlemania main event no one would ever forget.
Part one of my WWE dream matches is in the books. The next installment in this series will feature my choices for brawl oriented matches (Hell in a Cell, Last Man Standing, etc). And will hopefully be ready in a couple weeks. Until then, please check back for other entries on music, movies and food. Thanks for reading and remember, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
@jtlovecraft
Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Perfect
Kurt Angle and the late Mr. Perfect had a few things in common when it came to professional wrestling: arrogance, charisma and great technical wrestling skills. Mr. Perfect is already in the WWE Hall of Fame and one day Kurt Angle will be also. A program between these two would have legendary bombastic banter. After all, one was perfect and the other was your Olympic hero. As good as the mic work wold have been for these two, the in-ring action would have been better. If you are a fan of technical wrestling with reversals and submissions and simple holds used as significant moves in the match, then this would have been a match for you. A pinnacle for a feud between Mr. Perfect and Kurt Angle would definitely be a 60-minute ironman match. Allowing those two men to showcase pure in-ring talent in a match which requires to physical conditioning and ring general ability would be nothing less than epic.
CM Punk vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage
There is just something about these two characters which just screams for them to have a match. The contrasting personalities would provide entertaining trash talk. (Imagine Punk mimicking Randy Savage!) And Punk is very much a student of the business. He has not only mastered the aspects of in-ring action but he took it upon himself to learn about the production side of things as well. Randy Savage was very similar in his approach to the business. He believed in the importance of knowing and trusting your opponent and discussing and working on match ideas right up until the entrance music played. Remember his epic match with Ricky Steamboat? CM Punk and Randy Savage would have taken the same approach to a match. They would have traveled together and watched the other's previous matches and been in each other's ear constantly to piece together a match for the ages.
The Rock vs. Shawn Michaels
You could debate for three straight days about which matches in these superstars careers were his best. The Rock and Shawn Michaels were two of the all time best on the mic and also two of the all time best in the ring. Just the mic skills alone would make this one hell of an entertaining feud. The Rock's cocky attitude and goofy humor going up against the just as cocky Shawn Michaels but with a drier sense of humor and Michael's willingness to make fun of himself would give audiences some of the most entertaining banter of all time. The in-ring action would also be epic. Shawn is referred to by many people as the best of all time for good reason. His matches with Triple H, Ric Flair, Undertaker, Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho are among the best matches of all time. The Rock has also had epic encounters with Triple H, Stone Cold, Undertaker and Mick Foley. Both men know how entertain a crowd either with the mic or in the ring. And this would be an Wrestlemania main event no one would ever forget.
Part one of my WWE dream matches is in the books. The next installment in this series will feature my choices for brawl oriented matches (Hell in a Cell, Last Man Standing, etc). And will hopefully be ready in a couple weeks. Until then, please check back for other entries on music, movies and food. Thanks for reading and remember, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
@jtlovecraft
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Just a reminder...
The Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Fucking crazy video
Blood and disturbing images? Check. Metal music? Check. Two gorgeous girls with electrical tape on their breasts screaming some vocals? Check. I give you the Butcher Babies.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Grammy Screwjobs -- Joan Osborne
One of the biggest screwjobs in Grammy Awards history is Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill winning the award over Joan Osborne's far superior Relish. I have always believed Pill to be nothing more than an average album. It contains a total of one great song and two good songs. There are plenty of average songs and one totally awful song. It did not deserve to win the Best Album Grammy.
Let's start with the one great song on Jagged Little Pill. That would be the grrl break-up anthem, "You Oughta Know". (Never mind it was inspired by her breakup with Dave "Uncle Joey" Coulier.) If the majority of the album was songs with the same angst and attitude as "You Oughta Know", I wouldn't be writing this entry. The second best song on the album is "Hand In My Pocket" and it is a big drop-off from "Oughta". Yes, "Hand" is catchy. That is wonderful for radio and karaoke. Sure, there is a listener connection to the lyrics. I'm sure that hasn't been done before. So why did millions of people get super excited about this album?
OK, so let's talk about the awful song on Jagged Little Pill. That would be the track "Ironic". Why is it awful? Because it doesn't have a fucking thing to do with irony! It's about really shitty luck! Why did no one point this out to Alanis? Or was it just assumed most Americans were too dumb to realize this? Nevertheless, it's an awful song, but yet became the biggest hit of Morissette's career.
Joan Osborne's album Relish could not be more different that Morissette's. It is stronger lyrically and far more musically diverse. Where Alanis relied on Glen Ballard produced grrl-pop, Joan Osborne dives into an album filled with a mix of blues, folk and alterna-country. Her song-writing, primarily partnered with Eric Brazillian, is also superior to the Morissette-Ballard team.
"St. Teresa", Relish's opening track is a dark and sorrow driven song fueled by folky-blues. It is one of the album's strongest tracks, especially from a musical standpoint. The song was also denounced by the Catholic Church for being a veiled invitation for fans to volunteer at Planned Parenthood. Take that with a grain of salt, if you will.
Joan also does something ballsy and covers Bob Dylan's "The Man in the Long Black Coat". The amazing thing here is, it works beautifully. Joan captures Bob Dylan's emotion but not in the raw sense Dylan did with the original. She captures in a spiritual way and by doing so, brings vivid visualization to the lyrics.
The alterna-country appears in full form on the track "Right Hand Man". It's not one of the album's strongest tracks, but it is able to bring forth an explosion of bold sexuality without being crass or vulgar. The song "Let's Just Get Naked" does the opposite of "Right Hand Man". It takes a title most people would expect to follow with sexual lyrics and instead extends a plea for honesty and openness. It's a clever and song and one of my favorites. Lyrically, "Naked" may be the best writing on the album.
Osborne achieved mainstream exposure with the mega-hit "One of Us" which asks bold questions about faith and God. Joan angered Christians of all denominations with the song because apparently we aren't supposed to ask provocative questions about God. Musically, "One of Us" is more pop than anything else, but it is the song which made her a star in the mid 90's. The song "Lumina" was featured in two popular television shows, the pilot episode of The Sopranos and also on an episode of The Good Wife.
I'm not sure how the Grammy voters arrived at their decision to vote for Jagged Little Pill over Relish, but they made the wrong decision. Next time you are at a used CD store, look though the bargain bin for Relish. It's an album far too many people wrote off and ignored. If you find it, buy it. If you buy it, listen to it repeatedly. You won't be sorry that you did.
Until next time, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
@JTLovecraft
Let's start with the one great song on Jagged Little Pill. That would be the grrl break-up anthem, "You Oughta Know". (Never mind it was inspired by her breakup with Dave "Uncle Joey" Coulier.) If the majority of the album was songs with the same angst and attitude as "You Oughta Know", I wouldn't be writing this entry. The second best song on the album is "Hand In My Pocket" and it is a big drop-off from "Oughta". Yes, "Hand" is catchy. That is wonderful for radio and karaoke. Sure, there is a listener connection to the lyrics. I'm sure that hasn't been done before. So why did millions of people get super excited about this album?
OK, so let's talk about the awful song on Jagged Little Pill. That would be the track "Ironic". Why is it awful? Because it doesn't have a fucking thing to do with irony! It's about really shitty luck! Why did no one point this out to Alanis? Or was it just assumed most Americans were too dumb to realize this? Nevertheless, it's an awful song, but yet became the biggest hit of Morissette's career.
Joan Osborne's album Relish could not be more different that Morissette's. It is stronger lyrically and far more musically diverse. Where Alanis relied on Glen Ballard produced grrl-pop, Joan Osborne dives into an album filled with a mix of blues, folk and alterna-country. Her song-writing, primarily partnered with Eric Brazillian, is also superior to the Morissette-Ballard team.
"St. Teresa", Relish's opening track is a dark and sorrow driven song fueled by folky-blues. It is one of the album's strongest tracks, especially from a musical standpoint. The song was also denounced by the Catholic Church for being a veiled invitation for fans to volunteer at Planned Parenthood. Take that with a grain of salt, if you will.
Joan also does something ballsy and covers Bob Dylan's "The Man in the Long Black Coat". The amazing thing here is, it works beautifully. Joan captures Bob Dylan's emotion but not in the raw sense Dylan did with the original. She captures in a spiritual way and by doing so, brings vivid visualization to the lyrics.
The alterna-country appears in full form on the track "Right Hand Man". It's not one of the album's strongest tracks, but it is able to bring forth an explosion of bold sexuality without being crass or vulgar. The song "Let's Just Get Naked" does the opposite of "Right Hand Man". It takes a title most people would expect to follow with sexual lyrics and instead extends a plea for honesty and openness. It's a clever and song and one of my favorites. Lyrically, "Naked" may be the best writing on the album.
Osborne achieved mainstream exposure with the mega-hit "One of Us" which asks bold questions about faith and God. Joan angered Christians of all denominations with the song because apparently we aren't supposed to ask provocative questions about God. Musically, "One of Us" is more pop than anything else, but it is the song which made her a star in the mid 90's. The song "Lumina" was featured in two popular television shows, the pilot episode of The Sopranos and also on an episode of The Good Wife.
I'm not sure how the Grammy voters arrived at their decision to vote for Jagged Little Pill over Relish, but they made the wrong decision. Next time you are at a used CD store, look though the bargain bin for Relish. It's an album far too many people wrote off and ignored. If you find it, buy it. If you buy it, listen to it repeatedly. You won't be sorry that you did.
Until next time, if you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
@JTLovecraft
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